


Phan!!! on Ice

by apollosukulele



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF), Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe, Crossover, Crossovers & Fandom Fusions, Friends to Lovers, Gen, M/M, Phan AU, yoi au
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-12-19
Updated: 2017-01-17
Packaged: 2018-09-09 21:53:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,930
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8914273
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/apollosukulele/pseuds/apollosukulele
Summary: Dan thinks his career as a figure skater is destined for failure, but when a video of him skating the world champion Phil Lester's routine goes viral, his life is turned upside down.





	1. The Coach

It was March when Dan came home after 5 years of being away. He was at a loss what to do with his life now that he had graduated and made a mess of the last skating season. Existential crises were nothing new to Dan, but this one seemed to be going on for a particularly long time. Maybe some time in Hasetsu with the hot springs would do him some good.

“Dan!” He looked up to see Cat running towards him, arms outstretched and full of enthusiasm. After awkwardly fumbling with the ticket barrier he managed to get through and hug her, happy to see a familiar face at last. It was only after he pulled away that he noticed the horrific amount of posters that were plastered around the station. And not just any old posters – posters with his face on. He internally faceplamed.

“Cat, why did you do this?!” He sighed.

“To welcome you home, of course! As soon as we found out you were returning I knew I had to do something of significance.” Cat had always had a habit of overdoing everything and drawing attention to things he really wished were kept quiet.

“So how is everything going with your ballet?” Dan asked.

“Really great, actually.” Cat’s eyes lit up. “In fact, I-”

“Look! Over there!”

“Is that Dan Howell?!”

Suddenly the two friends found themselves in the middle of a swarm of fangirls, all demanding signatures and selfies. Dan really didn’t see why they wanted anything to do with him. The failed skater who just returned to Japan with no plan for his life? Yeah, he was such an inspirational role model. He begrudgingly went along with their requests – prompted by a few glares from Cat – if only to make them go away.

Once they had managed to find a path through the mob of people, Dan and Cat enjoyed the pleasant walk together up to the castle where Dan’s family lived. Calling it a _castle_ made it sound fancy, which it really wasn’t. On the outside, it looked like any generic, old building but on the inside, it was a ninja house. It also happened to be next to the last hot spring resort in the area, which was pretty good for the tourism as well as having the luxury of warm, relaxing soak whenever you wanted.

Despite the jetlag and constant weight of life choices hanging over him, Dan was really looking forward to being home. He hadn’t seen his family at all in the five years he’d been away, and was awful at keeping in contact with people. He would have lots of catching up to do, and although he felt awful for not doing it sooner, he was happy to be surrounded by people that cared about him again.

“Look who’s home!” Cat announced as she bounded through the door, Dan in tow.

“Dan!” His mother hugged him tightly, delighted to see him.

“You’ve put on weight,” his father remarked from the other side of the hall, whilst Dan wished the room would swallow him whole. “You’re beginning to look like you’re mother.”

“Hey!” She retorted. “Now, Daniel, we’ve prepared you a very special welcome home meal…”

“Pork cutlet bowls?!” Dan realised with excitement as he rushed over to the table that was laid out ready for his return. He had barely sat down before he began shovelling the contents of the bowl into his mouth. His mum laughed.

“I thought you’d appreciate that,” she smiled, whilst turning on the TV.

“And next up, we have the Russian skater Christofer Kendall performing his free program. Kendal is Russia’s next rising star in the figure skating world, competing for the first time in the Senior Men’s championships having reached the Gold medal in the Junior Grand Prix last season.” Dan looked up from his food in agony as he recognised the boy on the screen in front of him.

_It was at the Grand Prix Final last year. My dog, Phil-chan, had just died and I was crying in the toilet cubicle, having ranked 6 th in my category when that little Russian punk showed out of nowhere and started harassing me. _

_“You’re nothing compared to Phil Lester. You’ll never make it to where he is today. I’m the next Russian star, and next season I’m going to be competing in the senior division, and I’m going to win the gold medal. You’ve got nothing going for you, Piggy. You’re better just giving up now.”_

“Dan, are you okay?” His mother was asking. Dan snapped back into reality.

“Yeah, yeah, I’m fine. I think I’m going to take a walk down to the skating rink and see how Louise is getting on.”

Louise was a few years older than Dan, and they had trained together since they were children. She had always been kind to him, even when other kids had tried to bully him, and for that he was eternally grateful. She had got a job at the ice rink early on in her career and Dan had often gone down there as a way of escaping from the world. Louise always let him skate after hours when the rink was empty, and being alone on the ice brought a sense of peace to Dan that he couldn’t find anywhere else in the world.

“I’m sorry, we’re closed.” Louise said without looking up from her desk, as Dan pushed open the door into the lobby.

“Hey Louise!” He greeted her.

“Dan?! I didn’t expect to see you until tomorrow!”

“I didn’t plan on coming down here, but needed some space, even though I only just got back. Also, I have something to show you.”

The two of them made their way to the rink, and Dan began putting on his skates.

“You know how we always used to copy Phil’s routines together?” Dan asked. Louise nodded. “Well, I was lacking inspiration after my last failure so I decided to go away and learn his latest free program.”

“No way!”

Dan skated over to the CD player across the rink and pressed play. The music of ‘Stay Close to Me’ echoed throughout the stadium as Dan took made his first move across the ice. Louise watched in awe as Dan completed every jump perfectly, embodying Phil’s every movement as he danced yet still managing to retain some of his own character. By the time the routine was over, Louise was is rapturous applause.

“That was amazing!!” She exclaimed. Dan skated over to her, smiling, when suddenly a small head popped up over the side of the rink with a video camera.

“Look, mummy, I filmed the whole thing! Dan, are you really considering giving up your skating career? Will you need to loose loads of weight before you can compete again? Is it true that you’ve never had a girlfriend?”

“That’s quite enough, Darcy, Dan’s only just come back to Japan. I think we need to give him a bit of a break before we ask him a load of questions, don’t you?”

“Yes Mummy.” Louise picked Darcy up and held her so she could see Dan better.

“She’s grown a lot since you last saw her.”

“Can I get a selfie with you?”

“Sure.” The three of them took a picture together and Darcy immediately uploaded it to her mum’s facebook account.

Dan woke up the next morning to the sound of a million push notifications at once. He decided to ignore them for as long as possible, shoving his pillow over his head and trying to drown out the sound of his vibrating phone. After bearing with it for a few minutes, hoping whoever was trying to contact him would just _go away,_ someone started to call him and he finally decided to answer just to see what all the fuss was about.

“Hey, Dan!”

“PJ?”

“That’s right!”

“What’s all the fuss about? I’ve been getting a billion notifications to my phone and it’s been driving me crazy. What’s going on?”

“You mean you don’t know?”

“Know what?”

“The video of you skating Phil’s routine. It’s gone viral!” Dan nearly dropped the phone in shock.

“wHaT noW?!?!”

“You heard me. Most of the skating world must have seen it by now. I was just ringing up to congratulate you – you nailed all of those jumps amazingly. I’m proud to have studied alongside you in Detroit.”

“Thanks, I guess. I had no idea it had even been uploaded. I hope… oh Christ-on-a-bicycle, if it’s going viral I swear to God if _he’s_ seen it I’ll hide in my bed for the rest of eternity.”

“Come on Dan, it’s not that embarrassing, all you did was skate his routine. Besides, don’t you _want_ to be noticed by your senpai?”

Dan looked up to the posters lining his room. All of them depicted the amazing Phil Lester, the five-times gold medallist at the Senior Grand Prix and multiple world record holder. He sighed. “No, not really. I’m quite happy how I am, living my own reclusive existence under a rock without gaining loads of unwanted negative attention from people I look up to. I’d rather not have that image ruined.”

“No one ever said Phil would be negative about it. He might not have seen it anyway. But if I was Phil, I’d be super inspired by what you did. Please believe me when I say you’re an amazing skater, I wish you had more confidence in your abilities.”

“This is all getting too much for me, I think I need to get back to sleep.”

“Of course, I wouldn’t want to stop you from spending time in bed! Speak soon!”

“Bye, Peej.”

Dan hung up and turned off his phone. _Maybe when I wake up, this will all have been a dream._

At around dinnertime Dan finally encouraged himself to leave his bedroom and face the outside world. He checked his texts in the hope that his conversation with PJ had been made up. The first one he read was from Louise.

 _“I’m so sorry, Darcy must have uploaded it as soon as you finished. She’s learning how to use technology way to fast in my opinion.”_  Fantastic, he hadn’t made it all up. He mentally added the whole situation to his list of _reasons why Dan’s a fail._ The list was getting so long he could probably make a career for himself telling embarrassing stories about his life. It wasn’t like they were going to stop any time soon.

“Nice of you to make an appearance at last.” His Dad greeted him. “I loved your video, by the way.”

“Also, we have a guest staying with us, isn’t it exciting?!”

“A guest?!” Just as he spoke a large Shiba Inu came bounding up to him, licking his face. At first he got a wave of hope, thinking Phil-chan had returned, but then he remembered what had happed last year and his hopes sank again. Dan only knew of one other person with a Shibe, and the fact that this one was here made him slightly nervous.

“Yes, he came all the way from Russia today. I believe he’s enjoying the hot springs right now as we speak.”

Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck. Dan nearly sprang backwards as his mind went into overdrive, piecing everything together at light speed. The conclusions his brain was jumping to made him feel rather nauseous, but at the same time sent a rush of adrenalin around his body. He needed to see for himself.

He sprinted down the corridor that led to the back of the house, through the communal bathing areas and through the glass double door to the outside world.

And although Dan had suspected what was happening, he didn’t fully realise until he set eyes on the man in front of him. He recognised every feature; the mop of black hair, the sparkling eyes and that radiant smile that made him look the fucking sun.

“Hi Dan.” The guest stood up out of the water, exposing himself to the world and stretching his arms as he did so. “I’m Phil Lester, and from now on I’m going to be your coach.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As far as I could tell no one had done this yet, which surprised me, but I thought it was important so here you go.


	2. Maltesers and Bed-sheets

Dan rubbed his eyes. Nope, Phil Lester was still stark naked in front of him. Okay then. This was too weird to make up.

“How long have you been here?” He asked, trying to make polite conversation out of questions that were bothering him. Maybe it would have been better to start off by saying something like, ‘Wow, I’d love you to be my coach, thank you Phil!’ but Dan was so in shock from the day’s events that any kind of rational thought had probably gone out of the window a long time ago. Besides, Dan had never been good with celebrities. Especially after what happened last time…

“Well, I arrived from Russia a few hours ago, took the train here and spent the rest of the time having a nice relaxing bathe in the springs. However, I am now starting to get a little hungry. Is it okay if I eat with your family tonight?”

“Yeah, sure,” Dan replied, as Phil began drying himself off with a towel and started to put some clothes on.  Seeing as the day was already completely strange, there seemed to be little point in fighting against the bizarre chain of events that seemed to be unfolding. Besides, Phil had introduced himself to his family already, bypassing Dan entirely. Just like how he came all unannounced declaring his new role of coach. What would Phil have done if Dan already had a coach he was happy with? What then? But even Dan knew in his heart that he would never have refused Phil as a coach. Maybe Phil knew that too. After all, Dan _had_ learned and skated Phil’s free program which was probably the reason for the whole weird spiral of events in the first place. He found himself thinking back to the first and only other encounter he’d had with Phil in person.

_I’d messed up my routine. I’d messed it up beyond repair. Phil had won with grace and elegance and I didn’t even deserve to be there. We hadn’t spoken during the competition, mostly because I know how bad I am with people I admire. I tried to avoid conversation at all costs. That was, until Phil spoke to me just as I was leaving the following day._

_He called out to me: “Do you want a photo?”_

_I turned and stared at him. Why was he being like this? Phil didn’t seem like the self-absorbed kind of guy, so what would he want from a photograph? Did he pity me in some way? Did he get some kind of kick out of knowing he was better than me? No. That was something Chris would do, not Phil. Not knowing how or what to respond, I simply walked away without saying anything. Looking back on it, I can see how that might have come across as rude, but at the time I felt like my voice had stopped working and I was too ashamed to be near him._

“…and then you need to take me to see the ancient temple! I’ve always wanted to go to Japan! Dan, are you listening?”

“Sorry, this day has just felt like a bit of a roller-coaster. I’m not really sure what’s happening anymore.”

“That’s okay. We’ll begin skating tomorrow and we can go from there.”

“Where exactly are you going to be staying?”

“With you! When I say I am going to be your coach, that means we are going to be spending a serious amount of time together. So what better place for me to stay than in your house? We can even have a sleepover if you like!”

“I… don’t think that would be necessary.” Dan said. He was thinking about the countless Phil posters covering every corner of his room and how, under no circumstances, was Phil ever going to know of their existence. He could only hope that his parents hadn’t given him the guided tour already. “I… have some pretty embarrassing stuff in there and I just haven’t got round to sorting it out yet.”

“Not to worry, we can always try again another night. And, for the record, I have some pretty embarrassing things in my room too. I’ve got posters of Buffy the Vampire slayer, Kill Bill, Muse, Pokémon, Studio Ghibli, Final Fantasy VII-”

“Wait, you like all these things? That’s amazing! I’m a huge Muse fan. And as for Final Fantasy VII, well, it will always be my favourite game of all time…” Neither Dan nor Phil could keep themselves from smiling as they chatted on their way back to the kitchen. Dan even found himself forgetting that this was the Phil he’d looked up to since he was a child, Phil Lester the skating legend. In fact, when they shared conversation like this, it almost felt like they were just ordinary people, living ordinary lives who happened to share the same tastes in, what turned out to be, practically everything.

“You two found each other then, I gather?” Dan’s mum greeted them as she stepped into the room.

“That’s right,” Phil said, smiling. “I’m going to be Dan’s new coach.” He put his hand on Dan’s shoulder.

“That’s excellent news!” Dan’s mum gathered them both up in an enthusiastic hug. Dan still looked like he was floating around on some distant planet. “I made some more pork cutlet bowls if you would like to try some.”

“I would love to!” The three of them sat around the table together with Cat Dan’s father.

“These are amazing, they’re so good!” Phil exclaimed as he shovelled the food down whilst everyone stared at him.

“Pork cutlet bowl has always been one of Dan’s favourite foods.” His mum explained.

“So, tell me, Dan, what other food do you like? As you coach I should know these things.” It felt as if he was staring right into Dan’s soul as he spoke.

“Uh… well, I’ve always had a soft spot for maltesers. In fact, I always carry a packet with me wherever I go.” He pulled a bag out of his pocket and started eating them, fulling indulging on every bite, making somewhat inappropriate sounds as he did so.

“Wow, you must really like maltesers!” Phil said, still as cheery as ever. Cat glared at Dan.

“His previous coach only ever let him eat them after he’d won something,” she remarked. Dan paused mid-bite.

“Tell me, Dan have you won any competitions recently?” He asked sincerely. All Dan could do was shake his head sheepishly. “Then why are you eating them?”

Phil tried to keep his composure but he found his own joke so funny that he couldn’t keep himself from laughing. He chuckled to himself, a stupid grin plastered across his face, his tongue poking out slightly between his teeth in that way that Dan had seen him do countless times on interviews… Dan rested his head in his hands because he was _done_ with Phil’s sense of humour but also to hide the blush spreading across his face because they way Phil laughed was just _too damn cute._

Phil suddenly reached across the table and grabbed Dan’s arm, startling him.

“In all seriousness though, Dan, I’m not going to let you back on the ice until you’re back to the weight you were at the Grand Prix Final last year.” All Dan could do was stare back and nod slowly. He felt he should be offended by the constant comments about his weight, but for some reason when Phil mentioned it made him feel like his body had been lifted twenty feet off the ground into another dimension. There was something in the way Phil spoke that he found himself wanting to obey his every word.

“I have to say I’m getting quite tired now. Dan, do you think you could show me to my room?” He was back to playing the innocent Phil again and Dan was caught off guard.

“Sure,” he managed. Phil had clearly gone all out with the moving in thing as the spare room was filled with a preposterous amount of boxes, all neatly packed. When did he possibly have the time to do this?! They cleared a path to the bed and Phil got out his bed-sheets.

“They’re exactly the same as mine!” Dan commented, amazed. “Except mine are black and grey.”

“They’re the best kind of bed-sheets. I’ve never used anything else!” Again, Dan found it fascinating how excited Phil was getting over seemingly mundane things.

“What’s in all the other boxes?” Dan asked, expecting the answer to be something along the lines of ‘clothes’ or ‘skating equipment’.

“House plants!” Phil grinned. Dan squinted at Phil.

_“House plants.”_

“That’s right!” Phil merrily skipped over to one of the boxes, ignoring Dan’s glare, and pulled out a rather large cactus. He looked like a proud parent. “This one’s called Susan!”

“ _Susan the cactus._ Really Phil?”

“She even had baby cacti. Cactuses? Cacti? Anyway, I named them all after her!” This was too much for one day.

“You know, I’m quite tired myself actually. I really should be going to bed.” Dan began walking towards the door when Phil put a hand on his shoulder.

“So soon? But we’ve only just started to get to know each other! There are so many things I don’t know about you. Like… what’s your favourite colour? What are your hobbies? Do you have a girlfriend?” Dan couldn’t speak as he looked back into Phil’s eyes. On the last question, Phil had brought his other hand up under Dan’s chin, tilting his head up slightly and it was more than Dan could take. He ran backwards out of the room.

“Hey, where are you going? We were just getting somewhere!” Phil called after him as Dan ran down the corridor.

“Sorry, I just, uh, really need to use the bathroom!”

Dan arrived at his own room panting and rather out of breath. He locked the door behind him and buried himself in his duvet, glad to be back in the comfort of his own bed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know you can't get maltesers in Japan but you know what? They also can't get married in Japan and seeing as the show doesn't seem to care about that I think I can include them in my fanfic.


	3. I am NOT flirting with Phil Lester

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wooo I finally updated. Yay. Have some fluffy domestic Phan and some Dan and Louise banter™

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> None of this so far has been beta'd so if there are mistakes, that'll be why.

"Dan, wake up! It’s time for to start training together!” Dan was startled awake by the enthusiastic banging at his bedroom door.  _ Uuugh _ . He shoved a pillow over his head, hoping that if he lay very still and very quiet, whoever was at his door would go away.

“Daaan~~” The voice continued. Dan let out an audible sigh. What time even was it?! He checked his phone, the screen nearly blinding him with brightness. _ 06:30. _ Fuck. Was that even a time? Why was this even happening? Maybe if he just slept for a bit longer…

“Do you want me to come in and help you wake up?” The voice suggested innocently yet cheerfully.

Shit. This was Phil. “I think I’m okay,” Dan somehow managed to call out calmly as leapt out of bed in a frenzy, starting to rip down posters left, right and centre and shove them hastily into his bottom drawer. Dan generally preferred to move quite slowly, if at all, however his talent for procrastination and leaving everything till the last minute meant that he had developed a lightning fast reaction speed for when things needed to be done quickly. This was one of those occasions: he did  _ not _ want Phil finding out about his… mild obsession.  _ Hey, thanks so much for coming to be my coach but just so you know I’ve been casually stalking you for the last 15 years of my life. Nothing personal. _

He could hear Phil trying the door handle, and he let out a sigh of relief when he realised he’d locked it the night before. He wasn’t going to take any chances, though.

“Just a sec.” There was only one more to go, a large print in a frame that wasn’t going to fit with the others. He settled for taking it down and leaning it face against the wall in the corner. He shoved on nearest clothes he could find – black skinny jeans and a Whinnie the Poo sweatshirt – and opened the door to Phil, pretending that nothing had just happened.

“Great, you’re up!” Phil beamed.

“Is this really necessary?” Dan glared at Phil. He was too tired and grumpy to be outwardly affected by Phil’s charms, but there was definitely a part of him that was silently freaking out inside. “I won’t be fully awake for another four hours at least.”

“Let’s go and have breakfast together. Breakfast is the most important meal of the day! Actually I already ate mine - your mum said I could help myself to whatever I wanted - but I’ll sit with you whilst you eat.”

When they entered the kitchen, Dan was greeted by a horrific sight. Literally  _ every single cupboard door _ was open, and it looked like some invader had torn through their house in the middle of the night. He went around shutting them all whilst Phil just stood on, looking apologetic. At least he had his cereal to look forward to.

Until he got to the box and realised it was empty.

“Phil, was it really necessary to finish my cereal?”

“Umm…”

Dan somehow couldn’t be mad at Phil, however much he had looked forward to that bowl since the night before. There was something very exciting about the fact that Phil Lester had eaten his very own cereal, and it made him feel slightly giddy. He sat down with Phil and his mum’s inferior breakfast choice and they talked.

“I’m serious about not letting you on the ice for a while.”

“Is that really necessary? I mean, surely skating would  _ help _ me lose weight, right?” Dan argued. The night before he had gone along with what Phil had said because… well, it was Phil. Dan had finally got to meet his idol – in a context that wasn’t humiliating – and he had managed to lose all common sense. It was only when he’d slept on the idea that he remembered how much he hated exercise, and he wanted to at least  _ try  _ to talk his way out of it, even if he was fighting a losing battle.

“You need an incentive. If I let you back on the ice now, I think you wouldn’t do much work off the ice, which is exactly what you need to do. I hate exercising as much as the next person, and as you’re not in the habit I don’t think you’d bother. Why? Because you would have what you want – me as your coach. That is what you want, isn’t it, Dan?” Dan gulped. “I can’t just give away something like that so easily now, can I? I mean, we can discuss your coaching fees after you’ve actually won something, but for the moment this is all I’m asking from you. Also,” he looked Dan playfully in the eye, “I dare you.”

Fuck, this guy was good. He had considered trying to barter with Phil, but deep down he knew he was probably right. He’d been avoiding exercise for a long time – actually, his entire life now he came to think of it – and he knew part of the reason for wanting to get on the ice with Phil as soon as possible was to put off facing the fact that he didn’t actually want to put the work in to get his body the way he wanted it. (The other part of the reason was to spend as much time with Phil as possible, but that wasn’t something he was going to admit to right now.) As for pleasing him, doing him a favour – well, Dan couldn’t exactly refuse after he’d practically just declared he would coach Dan for free. Well, until he’d won something. Like that would actually happen.

The main reason Dan knew he had been beaten, however, was the last sentence. Anyone who knew Dan, even a little, knew very well that he didn’t back down from dares. It had always been a weakness of his – PJ had found this out back in Detroit and learnt to use this to his full advantage, aggravating Dan immensely. Dan had, after that, found himself doing some very stupid things because of dares, such as seeing how many ice cubes he could fit in his boxers or melting an entire packet of butter onto a crumpet and eating it. Dan didn’t really regret all that stuff, seeing as it was all rather fun in the moment, but there were times he wished PJ hadn’t filmed them all and put them on instagram. PJ had even dared him to do some pretty stupid things whilst they were drunk – not that Dan ever remembered them but he’d been told stories and to be honest they were pretty funny. It wasn’t like he’d had any dignity to lose, anyway. But back to Phil: this was a dare just like any other. The gauntlet had been thrown and Dan was sure as hell going to pick it up.

“I’m gonna lose so much weight you’re going to be begging me to eat pork cutlet bowls for every meal,” Dan declared.

“Excellent!” Phil said. “We’ll start as soon as you’ve finished your breakfast.”

Dan hoped he wouldn’t regret his decision.

They spent the morning going for a run. At least, Dan went for a run. Phil had managed to bring a bike with him from Russia too, along with his million houseplants, and somehow Dan was expected to keep up. Doge – yes, that’s right, Phil really had named his Shiba Inu  _ ‘Doge’  _ – ran alongside and didn’t seem to have any trouble with keeping the pace.  _ Great, even an old meme is faster than me. _ By the time they got to the ice rink, he was completely out of breath and sweat was pouring from every possible corner of his skin. Phil descended from his bike (with more clumsiness, Dan noted, that one would have expected for a world class figure skater) and walked over to the welcome desk.

“Phil Lester!” Louise exclaimed, amazed. “So the rumours are true, then? You really are going to become Dan’s coach?”

“Yep,” Phil replied cheerfully. “I just thought I’d come and get a feel for this place and to see where we’ll be practicing for the next season. I’m afraid Dan won’t be doing any skating today, as I’m not letting him back on the ice until he’s lost enough weight. We’re going to be on a tight exercise regime.” He attempted to wink and ended up half blinking instead. Louise laughed.

“I’ll show you around. If you like, you can even have the rink all to yourself whilst I do some exercises with Dan.”

“Actually, that would be really good – I haven’t skated for a few days now and my body is noticing.”

The two of them stayed for first few minutes to watch Phil skate. Dan had only seen him live a couple of times before, at the Grand Prix final of spectacular doom and failure, and it took all his breath away. The way Phil moved on the ice – it was like watching the universe unfold in front of him, full of beauty and wonder and he felt like a child experiencing something new and amazing for the first time.

“Dan?” 

“W-what?!” He was abruptly brought back to reality by Louise shaking him.

“You were staring,” she remarked.

“Huh?”

“It’s fine, everyone already knows about your enormous crush on him,” she said smugly. “Come on, we need to do some exercise.” Louise dragged a rather bewildered Dan into one of the back rooms. Once they were in, she shut the door behind them and sat him down on a mat opposite her on the floor.

“Spill.”

“What?”

“You know exactly what.”

Dan sighed, resigning to Louise’s demands. She always managed to get information out of him and he knew from experience that he was better off sharing things willingly. “There’s not much to say. I don’t know, he turned up out of the blue and I found him naked in the onsen, offering to be my coach. Well, he didn’t really  _ offer _ as such, he just sort stood up of self-proclaimed it without consent.”

“Wait, he turned up  _ naked?!?!?!” _ Dan turned an embarrassed shade of pink and Louise started laughing so hard that she snorted. Eventually they both were in hysterics, laughing uncontrollably like they always did when they were together.

“I can’t believe Phil Lester actually turned up naked! Maybe it was all those summoning rituals you did as an angsty teenager, I mean, you  _ do  _ have a shrine to him in your bedroom-”

“Stop! This is bullying!”

“This is such great news though!”

“No it’s not! I mean, it kinda is, but you of all people know how I am around celebrities. Especially those I admire. What am I supposed to do? How am I supposed to act? Why would he even choose to be here in the first place?!”

“Well, I guess that video Darcy uploaded caught his attention. It’s probably the only good thing that’s come out of her unhelpful knowledge of the internet.”  

“I just can't wrap my head around it, though.  _ He’s _ the one who inspired  _ me _ , not it the other way round. I don't have anything to offer him. Maybe he couldn't bear the thought of such horrific skating existing in the world and had to go fix it. I don't know.”

“For a start I'm not going to allow you to talk about yourself in that way. You made it to the Grand Prix Final. It doesn't make an ounce of difference that you messed up and came 6th. Or that you didn't do as well in other competitions after that. You're a good skater, Dan, and Phil knows it too. That's why he's here. You skated his routine flawlessly - yes, I know you didn't include all the quads so don't even start on that - but what you did was amazing. He saw that potential and wants to take you to the next level. Not everyone is against you.”

“...Thank you, Louise. I’m not sure I'm ready believe all the things you've said but thank you,” Dan replied.

“You need to stop doubting yourself. Plus, this whole situation means you get plenty of opportunity to flirt with him.” 

“I am NOT flirting with Phil Lester.”

“That's what you think.”

“He's my idol. I can't afford to ruin this chance in my life and screw everything up just because I wanted more than I could have. No one in their right mind would genuinely think they had a chance with Phil Lester and I shouldn't be any different.”

“He showed up naked in your family's onsen. He chose to stand up and expose himself to you when he could have just sat there or asked for a towel or something.”

“He probably enjoys playing with everybody. He knows first hand just how many fangirls he has and how much they love him. So he keeps people wanting more just far enough away so that he doesn't have to get involved.”

“You and I both know Phil's not like that. He's one of the most lovely, humble and encouraging celebrities out there and you really can be an idiot sometimes. Now, we need to do some exercise or else he's never going to coach you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I suck at naming things so if anyone has anyone has any better titles for this work (or individual chapters), they would be much appreciated! I'm thinking along the lines of 'Phan!!! on Ice: ______________' so it doesn't confuse people who already started reading it. Also let me know if there's anything you particularly want to see in this fic; I have loads of ideas for who the other skaters are going to be and I totally intend to rip your hearts out with some of the things I have planned for Phan and Dan's skating program muahahaha dw though I'll rip them out in a good way. But I'm totally open to ideas; I may not include all of them but I'd love to discuss them with you all the same!
> 
> THANK YOU SO MUCH to everyone who's read/given kudos/commented omg I love you all. Hopefully there won't be such a long wait for chapter 4.


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